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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24201280">If The World Was Ending</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cupofACE5/pseuds/cupofACE5'>cupofACE5</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood and Violence, Boys Kissing, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Break Up, Soldier!Junhee, Soulmates, Strangers to Lovers, Surgeon!Donghun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 14:57:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,392</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24201280</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cupofACE5/pseuds/cupofACE5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Please, don't be afraid to go.<br/>Don't think about me for a second.<br/>I know you're tired.<br/>You've done so much for me, please...<br/>I cannot bear seeing you getting hurt again."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Donghun/Park Junhee | Jun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. All Our Fears Would Be Irrelevant</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi, it's me again! I know I said I would come back with my dongjun fantasy fic. It's still on progress because it's a long one.<br/>As you can tell by the title, this story was inspired by JP Saxe's song. I might regret it one day if I'd decided to not write this...Enjoy &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hello?" Donghun's voice was rasped from the lack of sleep. But he managed to pick up the call since Junhee's name was on the screen instead. "Are you busy right now?" Junhee's voice was hesitant. Somehow he was scared for asking that question. "No..no, I'm not doing anything." Then silence invaded the phone call. Junhee was not prepared, none of them was prepared for these shit things to happened. Not the wars, political games, and so much more. Damaging so many homes. So many families. Children were separated from their parents, couples lost each other. The same thing happened to Junhee and Donghun. They didn't mean to end things between them. They did it for the sake of each other. Donghun was tired from the crying over the phone call and so was Junhee. He’s always departed far away from Donghun. He constantly stealing his busy time to call his lover, his <em>soulmate.</em> Making sure he eats and be somewhere safe. The two of them broke up a year ago. Almost exactly after everything starts to crumble. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No, it was not easy. Not for Junhee, especially. He called Donghun every night asking if they decided the right thing. Donghun would hold back his tears and reassured the younger that everything's gonna be okay. But Junhee <em>doesn't</em> believe him. He started to sob harder, letting out all of his feelings. Donghun, on the other side, would end their phone call in the middle of their conversation. It was cruel but it's better than to listen to each other’s pain during the night. That way, both of them can move on sooner. Now, before you think they’re a coward, they exactly far away from it. It's just the way they're showing how much they loved each other. </span>
  <span>How much they care for one another. They argued about the thought of breaking up for hundredth of times. Donghun was the one who's always winning over it. Junhee would look defeated and it makes Donghun's heartache. He knew his intention was good but Donghun couldn't possess his understanding. Junhee was far grown-up than him even though he's older. Donghun couldn't deny but agree about the concept of soulmate is too vague to be translated as <em>romantic</em> feelings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can you please come over?” Junhee started to cry again. He couldn't help it anymore. No one is here to stop him. Nothing would ever replace his cravings for Donghun's arms around his tiny waist, his lips against his, and his beautiful voice when the older sang him to sleep. Donghun doesn't need to be told twice this time. He never moves so quickly before. He was like a robot. Fast and steady. He grabbed his jacket and sprint to Junhee's flat. He didn't take the car or the bus. He ran with all of his strength left from the bed. He ignored the banging sound on the street. People are starting to scream but he didn't seem to care. He doesn't even look away. All of he could think was Junhee waiting for him in his front door. It only took him 7 minutes and 56 seconds to arrived at the tall building. Yet again, he took the stairs instead of the elevator. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as their eyes met each other, Donghun's legs were trembling. He stumbled and didn't make it pass to Junhee's arms. His knees fell hard on the ground. He was trying to catch his breath but suddenly Junhee pulled him into his embrace and took his breath away. He dragged Donghun inside and connected their lips roughly. He was full of hunger and so was Donghun. If they said they're almost dying because of kissing each other then it wouldn't be a lie. Donghun was the first one to pull away. But he immediately missed the other and kissed him again lovely on the lips. Junhee was sweet and tender. His lips tasted like strawberries and he couldn't get enough of him. After minutes of heat sessions, they were finally laid down on the couch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Donghun planted his arms around Junhee. The younger complied and hide his face in the crook of Donghun’s neck. They stayed like that for a while. No words coming out. Just silence. All of the kisses and hugs explained everything what they had been longing for quite a while. Junhee was the first one who breaks the silence. Nervously, he intertwined their hands together. Donghun’s hands fit perfectly with his tiny fingers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stay with me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Always.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>*flashback</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It was a warm day in Seoul. Just the perfect amount of wind for walking. Junhee wore his leather jacket. Not minding bringing a coat along with him. He was just about to visit this new cafe near his flat. He grabbed his keys and took some money from his wallet. He went downstairs and greet some of his neighbors. They rarely saw him because he’s always away from home. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Park Junhee. Twenty-nine years old. Captain in the South Korean army. He was promoted months ago as the new captain. It was quite a suitable job for him at his age. Yeah, even though everyone said he was still too young and impulsive. Junhee never listened to them and simply ignore the hate comments. He was a good and polite boy. He has a good relationship with his seniors. Junhee was an expert on the field from the beginning. He managed to be always on top and that attracted some attention to his bosses. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The cafe was opened a few minutes ago. Perfect timing, he thought. He went to the cashier and order a strawberry frappuccino. Yeah, what’s wrong with it? Being a commander in the army doesn’t mean he’s not allowed to like sweet things right? Junhee almost managed to look too delicate for his job. When people around him asked him what kind of job does he does, most of them were shock knowing he’s in the military. People have assumed him as a model or an idol. Surely, his pretty face fooled everyone, including the stranger he met today. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Junhee took a seat near the window. He opened his phone and checked some emails. Even though he was on his day off, but sometimes the word “holiday” was never meant to be on his dictionary in the first place he got in the military. As expected, he was requested to be back in the base to sign some paper works. Yeah, since he was promoted, people are starting desperately looked for him just for a simple signature. Sometimes Junhee took it as a funny joke. He had heard his juniors were in having trouble because they couldn't find him. Well, he’s always on a meeting or being departed to hold a training for new commoners. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>His drink arrived five minutes later. Junhee was done checking his messages and took a sip. The drink was refreshing itself and it calms his mind. He took a few more sips before start replying to his emails. Well, Junhee never plans anything for his day off because he knows somehow, his time would manage to be cut away. He usually just do anything without preparation like what he did this morning. He locked his screen and threw it on the desk. Not exactly throwing his phone. Just slightly tossing it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You look frustrated.” Junhee jumped a little before turning around to see the owner of the unknown voice. As soon as he saw him, Junhee froze in place. The man was the most beautiful thing Junhee had ever seen in his entire life. His features are soft. His eyes were droopy and sad. But it compliments his tall nose and round smile. The stranger smiled back at Junhee. The soldier was whipped until he doesn’t even notice he was smiling like a creep. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Can I seat in front of you? The chairs are full.” Junhee didn’t realize that the cafe is already packed. He remembered a while ago, there’s just a group of students in the left corner of the room and a couple in front of the cashier. “Ye-yeah sure. I’m not expecting anyone, so you can sit here.” The words took excitement back to the man’s face. Junhee couldn’t help but feel his heart beating rapidly inside his chest. He cleared his throat. He was not good with a first-time conversation. He hoped the man will just ignore him and do whatever he wants to do. But of course, things didn't happen the way he wanted. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“My name is Lee Donghun. I work as a surgeon in the hospital.” Okay, he doesn't look like one. That’s the first thing that came up into Junhee’s mind. I mean look at him. Junhee expected him to be an artist or even better. An idol. He was very stylish. Not too much but he can sense that he has a great taste in fashion. “Park Junhee. Captain in the army.” Donghun choked on his drink. Junhee did not expect that and handed him a tissue. “Oh my god, are you okay?” Donghun grabbed the tissue out of Junhee’s hand. He wiped the dripping coffee coming from the corner of his lips. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>”I don’t know you will be that surprised. Please accept my apology.” Junhee bows a little and tries putting up a smile on his face. ”No, no. It's my fault. Please don't apologize, god.” Junhee chuckled before taking his phone back to his grip because it keeps vibrating since ten seconds ago. His gaze became serious after he knew who dialed his number.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>”Yes, Sir. ... Ah, I get it. I will arrive as soon as possible.” The other person hung up the phone call and it's Junhee’s cue to leave Donghun alone in the cafe. ”Work?” Donghun guessed because Junhee decided to name the caller ’sir’. ”You’re right. Not good news for me but it’s good news for you since you can have the table for yourself.” Junhee stood up and fixed his hair, well it’s more like avoiding Donghun’s eyes. “I don’t mind the company though. It’s your table first after all.” Junhee was able to force a smile. The older realized his expression but decided to not ask anyway. He knew Junhee doesn’t seem happy with the phone call. Junhee bows to Donghun before leaving. Donghun might regret it if he decided to not take this chance. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Junhee!” The captain was on the edge of opening the front door of the cafe before Donghun’s voice caught his attention. Donghun approached him quickly, not wanting to waste more of his time. “Are you free this Saturday?” Donghun asked him with full of hope. Junhee sighed before presenting a sad smile. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I need to tutor some of the privates. I’m sorry.” Junhee put on a sad smile and Donghun took a step back. The curve on his lips was slowly disappearing and somehow Junhee hates that. “But Friday night sounds good to me.” Donghun nodded happily and handed him his phone. Junhee took it immediately as if he knew what the other wants. He quickly typed his phone number and messaged himself. Donghun thank him and wish him good luck before he goes. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The news that someone needs him to go back to the base was not an easy pill to take. But meeting Donghun today was already enough to make him happy.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Hold You Tight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the late update. I was going to write yesterday but somehow got carried on with YT kkk. I wrote this at 4 am so maybe there are some parts that are not making any sense.<br/>This chapter is a little bit sad :(</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sunlight slowly finds its way to slip through the thick curtains. Junhee remembered closing them tight before going to bed. This is one of the things he hates the most. Well, Junhee is never a morning person after all. The sun is always there to wake him and the sound of birds chirping was enough to make him crawl out of the bed. What he didn’t manage to speak out was how warm Donghun’s presence from his back. The way his big arms were wrapped around his body and his nose buried on his hair. The way Donghun leaving morning kisses from his forehead then onto his cheeks down till his neck. Sometimes, Donghun would bite him hard. Leaving a mark for the world to see. One time, Junhee didn’t realize Donghun created a hickey just below the base of his hair. His friends kept mentioning it throughout the day. He was so embarrassed because he got nothing to cover them. His bosses probably knew it too but don't want to embarrass him even more.</p><p>Last night was almost a dream. Being back to the arms of someone he truly loves was the best indescribable feeling. Junhee turned around to face Donghun. Stealing kisses from his lips. He could feel the older smiled against his lips. Donghun gladly compiled and dragged Junhee closer. Their chest touched and so does their lower abdomen. The teasing slowly becomes more passionate. Junhee was so hot. The couple made love for the first time after their separation. Donghun was having a hard time getting Junhee off his arms. He acted like a whiny baby and wouldn’t let the younger go. Junhee slowly caressed his hair but it only makes the situation worse. Donghun started to cry. Hiding his face inside the crook of Junhee’s neck. Junhee kept holding him close as tears won’t stop streaming down the latter’s face.</p><p>Junhee was not the best at singing but he has this unique voice as he speaks through the lyrics. He played some instruments before. But most of them are left out because he had to do various training to become a soldier. He can only bring his guitar to his apartment and he hasn’t played it ever since he got promoted.</p><p><br/>
<em>”I was distracted</em><br/>
<em>And in traffic</em><br/>
<em>I didn't feel it</em><br/>
<em>When the earthquake happened</em><br/>
<em>But it really got me thinkin'</em><br/>
<em>Were you out drinkin'?</em><br/>
<em>Were you in the living room</em><br/>
<em>Chillin' watchin' television?</em><br/>
<em>It's been a year now</em><br/>
<em>Think I've figured out how</em><br/>
<em>How to let you go and let communication die out</em><br/>
<em>I know, you know, we know</em><br/>
<em>You weren't down for forever and it's fine</em><br/>
<em>I know, you know, we know</em><br/>
<em>We weren't meant for each other an-and...it’s fine…”</em>
</p><p>His lips stumbled as he sang the last part of the pre-chorus. He exhaled hard and it makes Donghun feel uneasy. The older cried again but this time Junhee wouldn't let his tears fall. He leaned down and kissed the tears away. Even with the simplest gesture, Donghun was melted under Junhee’s touch. The older sat up and now it’s time for Junhee to feel like a jelly. Junhee was way easier to read than Donghun. Small things that bugged him will be shown clearly to his face.<br/>
“What are you thinking?” Donghun wiped away his tears and pull the younger until his back touches his chest. They intertwined their fingers together and Junhee let out a huff. Donghun waited for him to speak up even though he already guessed the topic that is gonna be brought up. Junhee tried to arrange his words correctly. He had been through this situation a lot yet he never prepares for it.<br/>
“In t-two da-days..” His voice was trembling as he rests his head on Donghun’s shoulder. He took a deep breath before continuing his words. “Rahee was the one who should be there but there was a problem and they use me as a replacement, so...” Junhee was on the verge of crying. He was so so close to being free. But it seems like the universe never grants his wishes. Sometimes he imagines what things he can do when he didn’t take this path. Would he already married to the older or even never met him? Would the bruises on his body be less? Would he get more time to spend his holidays at home with his family? Or he was, even more, struggling with the second options he took?</p><p>
  <em>*a little flashback</em><br/>
<em>When Junhee was younger, he admired his teachers a lot. He wanted to become like them. Have the chance to help other people who are struggling, especially the younger ones. He never felt ashamed of telling his friends that he wanted to become a teacher. Most of his friends would laugh at him and even the person he’s always admired talked shits behind his back. They believed he did it so he can gain a better image because his father once was a criminal. Junhee never responded to the rumors they’ve created which makes his situation a lot worse. He never told his parents that he’s struggling in school. He always told them that he got new friends and he’s invited to come over to their houses but he never did. He would go to the park with his sketchbook and just killed time there. Then he would return home before dawn and again told his parents that his new friends were so nice to him.</em><br/>
<em>His parents were so proud of him. Despite the scandal that had happened in the past, he managed to survive and even create a lot of friends. It was devastating to know the truth behind the lies he always tells. He remembered he cried so much until he felt like his eyeballs were gonna come out. He probably said sorry for a thousand times. But his parents were not angry. They hugged him and reassured him that everything is gonna be okay. Junhee transferred school two weeks after his parents know the truth. People are starting to look for him. Junhee had created this amazing atmosphere at school. He made everyone feel special. He had only a few friends because most of them are told to not befriend him by their parents.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The rest of his teenager’s life was a blur. Nothing special happened neither the bad one. He managed to create new friends and given the honor as Student of the Year. He’s so happy but now it’s his turn to apply to university. Junhee knew he wanted to do something different. He never imagined himself listening to lectures and then staying up until late for a group project. He wanted something adventurous. Something that can rush his adrenaline. That’s how he got into the military. His parents hesitated at first but finally supported his decision. They never thought their son would be one of them.</em>
</p><p>***<br/>
Donghun knew this day would happen so he came a little prepared. At least mentally. It’s always sad to see the younger was far away from him but he also couldn’t do anything about it. Junhee took his oath as he took <em>his.</em> They swore to protect the innocent ones and save as many as they can. They swore to always give their best and even sacrifice a little for others in need. Donghun was trembling but he didn’t realize. He didn’t care enough though. He slowly caressed Junhee’s cheeks and then whispered sweet things next to his ears. The words coming out was a hint of <em>‘I love you’,’Everything is gonna be okay’,’Don't let negative things bother you’,’I will always here to support you’,’You are amazing’,’I’m so proud of you’.</em> And many more sentences left out to tear Junhee’s eyes. They stayed like that for a long time. Not to be bothered that the alarm sound was slowly filling up the whole room.</p><p>Tears shed and love spread. They once become a lover not because there’s a spark between them. They didn’t vow to be a partner only but also a friend. A family. A brother. Whatever that can fit between them. Soon their ‘I don’t know how many years I’ll be leaving’ separation will be started. Both have to prepare mentally and physically. Donghun will never forget the feeling of seeing Jun’s back walking further away from him. The feel of hope to see his face at the airport after not meeting the other for so long. No lies, sometimes he <em>doubts</em> Junhee would be there but eventually he always comes back. He hoped he also does this time.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope I didn't make you shed some tears. I'll probably fix the grammar if I have time. See you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. We Would Even Have To Say Goodbye</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry, it took me a long time to finally finish this chapter T_T</p><p>This chapter is a little sad but so much FLUFF! And it's longer...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Walking felt heavy. Every footstep left his heartache. He constantly stopping himself from walking forward. Looking at his back, trying to find a figure he desperately wants to hold forever. He was still there. He was still standing perfectly there. No tears were shed and instead, he was smiling as if...as if this isn’t a <em>goodbye</em>? He can hear his heartbeat now. How it was thumping so hard inside his chest. He was <em>scared</em>. He was scared to leave. For the first time in his life, he was scared of dying. What, what if he never comes back? What will happen to the other and how will he mana-</p><p>“Jun.”</p><p>A familiar voice snapped himself back to reality. The person now was standing in front of him, performing the saddest gaze he had ever seen. “Baby..” That’s it. He broke down again. His knees were bumping into the cold floor. His head was bent down and he can see how his tears were staining the hard marble. Donghun lifted him, embracing him with the most comforting hug he had ever felt. He closed his eyes, desperately praying that this was only a dream. That in reality, he was cuddling with the older in his bedroom. After a few moments, he dared to open his eyes. But he was still there. He saw another two figures were standing at the distance. Even he couldn’t return the stare at his parents.</p><p>Tears were streaming down so hard this time. Donghun kept hugging him tightly. Muttering sweet words to his ear, drawing small circles onto his back. He still remembered how the older begged. How he sounded almost as desperate as him.</p><p>“P-ple-ase..let go of me…” For a hundred thousand times he didn’t want for the older to move or shift away from him. “You’re making it hard for the both of us.” He sounded so firmly but he was broken inside. Donghun created a tiny space between them, looking straight back into his eyes which he avoided immediately. Donghun cupped his cheeks and oh god, how he was praying so hard to not leave.</p><p>“Hyung, I-“ But his words were cut off easily.</p><p>“Listen to me.” He dared to look up just to find Donghun was serious this time. He choked on a sob and closed his eyes again. Feeling very vulnerable.</p><p>“P-please li-listen to me okay? I don’t think I will able to repeat it for the second time.” Now Donghun was crying. He nodded and Donghun starts to caress his cheeks. He finally spoke.</p><p>“Please, don't be afraid to go-“</p><p>“Aa hyung…”</p><p>“-Don't think about me for a second. I know you're tired. You've done so much for me, please...I cannot bear seeing you getting hurt again. If you need to go, then just go. I’ll be fine. We all will be fine. Baby please, y-you’ve, you’ve worked h-hard..” Donghun’s words were left hanging as his breath hitched at the last sentence. No, he cannot be selfish. Not this time. He learned so much from the younger. How he sacrificed himself and always put himself before anyone else. Donghun could never do the same thing Junhee had done for him. So, this is the only way he’s able to repay him.</p><p>They shared a deep longing kiss. Donghun connected their foreheads, closing their eyes as they try to be one as long as possible. Junhee leaned backward. He quickly gave the older a peck on the lips before he turned around, forcing his feet to run so he will able to get inside before his thoughts consume his whole body. Donghun broke down on his knees as he saw Junhee running. Fighting with all of his strength to finally leave him.</p><p>***</p><p>Driving back home was hell. Donghun feels like a corpse. He doesn’t have the energy to do anything. He stayed on his bed all day, drifting every two hours. He only wakes up to take a shower or eat then he will get back to bed. He spent his holiday at home but every night he ended up crying on his bed with his mother beside him. He missed Junhee very much. He starts to lose himself as the day grew older. He had become quieter and would rarely welcome any visitor. His family was worried about him and so was Jun’s.</p><p>One day he gets spent his time with Junhee’s father. They talked about normal things. Donghun always feels weird how his father did not even bring his son’s name into the topic but he thought he understands why. Junhee’s father would take him to go fishing or hunting in the forest. He had never done any of these things but the older man told him that Junhee used to do these things when he was younger. He felt better someone how. He felt a lot closer to his boyfriend somehow. Maybe he’s was insane after all.</p><p>When they sat on the dock together, Donghun starts to open up about their relationship. He told Junhee’s father how they met and the relationship went for three years and he also mentioned their break up. Junhee’s father knew their journey by heart but he wants Donghun to tell him by himself. The sun is setting down and the air was starting to feel a little colder. Donghun gulped as he remembered how things went before. Their first date, the first time they said ‘I love you’ to each other, their first…</p><p> </p><p>Kiss.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>*flashbacks </em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>First Date </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Junhee came home from work at six o’clock in the evening. He should be home like an hour ago but the traffic was pretty bad that day and he’s kinda tired so he’s just driving slowly. After unlocking his apartment door, he went straight onto his bed. Today was quite a tiring day. He had a lot of work to do. New field to be investigated, upgrading the south line borders, teaching new privates. Junhee just wants to go to sleep. But on the other hand, his phone kept ringing as if his friend burned his kitchen and decided to message him. Junhee rubbed his eyes tired and saw the notifications on his phone. Shit. He forgot that he has a date today. Junhee quickly messaged Donghun back and get up to take a shower. He never moves to fast before, he put on a hoodie and a pair of jeans. He heard someone ring his doorbell. That must have been Donghun. He quickly brushed his messy hair and go to the front door.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> When Junhee opened the door, he startled because Donghun was standing so close to him. So close until he can smell Donghun’s perfume. Donghun smelled like citrus fruit. It's very calming and makes Junhee want to cuddle him. Okay, that's a bit creepy for a first date. They were still few inches apart and Junhee would’ve been a liar if he said Donghun was not sexy tonight. The man was wearing a cardigan without a shirt underneath. He got a pair of wash denim and some nice shoes. Junhee looked like shit compared to him. Apart from Donghun’s smell and clothing, Junhee also gets to see his build. He never realized how muscular and toned Donghun body is even though he was slightly shorter than him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You kept staring at me.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Donghun said in a shy tone. Junhee giggled nervously. God, this situation was getting more awkward. Why he laughed at something that doesn’t even funny?! They continue to stand there like idiots until Junhee realized they have been standing there for a few minutes now and his neighbors are starting to come out from their room to get dinner.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Uhm, come on in.” Junhee smiled, trying to act normal. But of course, he can’t. Junhee wouldn’t have been Junhee if he would not trip his tongue after every two words his lips are producing. Donghun walked inside and Junhee’s place was very cozy. His apartment was not massive but also not small in size. It would still fit for two people living together. They’d decided to chill for their first date. You know typical watching movies together and ate some snacks then cuddle together and eventually kiss. Yeah, it would be something like that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’m sorry I look like absolute shit. I was exhausted from work and to be honest, I forgot that you would come over. I took a shower pretty quick and doesn’t even bother to look good for you.” Junhee mumbled the words fast. Fast enough to make Donghun’s brows furrowed as he tries to process what Junhee has said. Donghun probably doesn’t catch all of his words but unfortunately, he catches the last one. The realization enough to make Donghun blushed hard. Junhee tried to look good for him? I mean, he probably does the same as he wore very “formal” clothing for Netflix and chill the first date. Donghun grinned as his thought consumed him, leaving a horror face on Junhee’s. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>”Donghun?” Donghun finally snapped his thoughts and try to change the subject quickly. ”What are you planning to watch?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>”I’ve always wanted to watch this movie. It's an action genre.” Junhee complied easily. He now starting to walk to the kitchen, preparing for their dinner. Donghun followed behind him. “No romance?” Junhee chuckled. His thought was right about the older wanting them to watch a romance movie that will make them cry for sure. Well, he’s prepared this time. “I Still Believe sounds good on you?” Donghun nodded happily. He scooted to Junhee closer, wanting to help him with the food. “What are you making?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Jjapaguri with steak? I don’t know, I haven’t made this one before. After watching Parasite I kinda want to make one on my own.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Aa, so you’ve watched that movie.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Waaaait-you haven’t watched it yet?!” “That good?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“OH. MY. GOD. We’re watching it now. I can’t believe you haven’t watched it yet.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Why? Why it’s like that? What about the romance movie?” Donghun’s eyes quivered in disappointment. Junhee chuckled. He can’t believe Donghun used his puppy eyes to trick him. “We can watch it afterward.” Donghun wasn’t convinced. He knew Junhee is tired and he didn’t want to end up watching the movie alone, it would be too awkward. But he just stayed silent anyway. The meal was served in less than twenty minutes with the help of Donghun. Junhee brought their food to the coffee table where it just right about in front of his couch. Then Donghun poured some drinks and joined him as well. Both of them sit on the floor and were eating their meal in silence. Junhee tried to pull up a conversation from time to time but Donghun always cut it off because he was so into the film already which Junhee doesn’t mind. They watched </em>
  <em>the rest of the film in peace until, well, there’s a scene that Junhee had forgotten about it. They were both looking at each other awkwardly and man, Junhee was sweating so much. His cheeks got a few shades darker. “Let’s just skip this.” As he reached the remote controller, Donghun stopped his movement and had made his eyes widened. “I don’t want to miss any details.” A red flush crept onto Donghun’s face. Junhee slightly nodded and gulped a handful of his dignity down his throat. They proceed to watch the film again despite the noise that was coming from it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> Finally, the film comes to an end. Donghun was mesmerized by the whole story. “Woahh..I can’t believe it. It was sooo good!” A curve of smile was shown on Junhee’s lips. He knew this one wouldn’t be a fail. “I told you right! I was surprised. All of the people I know already watch it. How come you haven’t? You’re a Korean too!” Junhee protest. “Well, I’m stuck in watching K-Dramas. But I’m glad I was watching it with you.” Donghun smiled. The last sentence caught on Junhee’s throat. He was starting to smile too. More like an idiotic smile. “Should we watch the other movie?” It was still eight past ten. Donghun thought that they still have a lot of time to spend the night together. “Sure. But let’s clean up a bit and make us comfier.” Donghun nodded and he helped Junhee wash the dishes. Junhee noticed that their glasses were empty so he brings out another bottle of soju and refilled it for them. Donghun placed the utensils neatly on the counter and walked over to Junhee. By the time he was there, Junhee has brought so many blankets. They settled in on the sofa, wrapping all of the materials around them because it was getting a little bit chilly. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Donghun moved over slightly. His shoulder was now pressing into the other male. He heard Junhee’s breath hitched as he wrapped his warm hands around his waist, pulling them closer together. Junhee could feel Donghun’s hot breath from behind, the air was brushing lightly onto his neck. It makes his skin tingles, sending electricity down his spine. “Is this okay?” Junhee was snapped back into reality. Donghun was now resting his head onto his shoulder. “Yeah.” Donghun could sense that Junhee was shy. The way his voice quivers explained everything. He never experienced his with someone else. But Donghun was willing to give every love that he deserves. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>When the movie started, Junhee’s body was dead frozen. He was even scared to move. Not until Donghun pulled his body down onto the sofa, dragging Junhee along with him. Junhee rested his head on Donghun’s shoulder, slightly hiding his face on the crook of Donghun’s neck. Donghun grinned at the sight, Junhee looked so tiny under his embrace. They watched the rest of the film in silence though tears were slipping away from their eyes so easily. By the time the movie ends, it was already ten. Donghun grabbed his belongings and lead himself into the doorway. Junhee was following him behind, already sleepy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I had a fun night. Thank you.” Donghun pressed his hand onto Junhee’s cheek which replied by him closing his eyes and purred under his touch. Then he opened his eyes and smiled at Donghun. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I had fun too. Text me when you’re home.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I will.” And before leaving, Junhee leaned in and kisses Donghun on the cheek. They waved goodbye to each other and Junhee closed his door to head back to his bedroom. He sat on the edge of his bed and starting to recall his memory earlier. He still can feel Donghun’s warm hands circled down his waist, how his cheeks were pressing down onto his shoulder. How they cried together at the end of the movie. Surely, it was a blissful night. </em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>First I LOVE YOU </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>”You’re home?” ”Not yet, I still need to finish this report.” Donghun can hear the rustling sound of papers. Junhee must have been pretty tired. It was eleven after all. If it wasn’t for Junhee, Donghun would probably ignore the call because he was also tired. He spent his time eight hours in the surgery room today. “Today patient was..” Donghun paused his sentence for a little bit, thinking whether he should say this to Junhee. The other realized he was a bit hesitant so he didn’t want to push him any further. “It’s okay. You did your part and that is the most important thing. He knows you’re trying to save him.” Donghun’s lips curved into a smile. “Thank you. It was actually a woman. Probably younger than us though.” Donghun exhaled his breath harshly, trying to picture a happy day on his head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He can hear that Junhee was moving on the other side, probably getting ready to leave his office. Donghun wants to stay a little bit longer, at least until Junhee was home. But he couldn’t help his sleepiness anymore and so, he was drifted into dreamland. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hyung?” No answer. Junhee smile faintly, now he could hear Donghun’s heavy breath on the microphone. He must be sleeping. Junhee packed his things inside his bag and locked his office. He greeted his friends that was also working late. Then he finally reached down to the parking lot, unlocking the car door. He rested his head on the steering wheel for a few minutes. His head was spinning, his eyes turned hazy. Why does he feel like this? He got a grip on himself and drove home. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Thirty minutes later, Donghun was woken up from a call. He groaned on his pillow, cursing the caller for waking him up from his beauty sleep. As Donghun was about to lash out a word, he was interrupted by a voice. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“D-Donghun-hyung, are you there??” The voice sounded panicked like there was something bad just happened. “Jun, what happened?!” Donghun was now fully awake, he even jumped out of his head as soon as he heard Junhee’s voice. “I think, I think I just crashed..” Junhee was unsure at that moment, he felt very dizzy and suddenly, his head just bumped into the steering wheel. Luckily, the road was clear and he just crashed into a tree. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Where are you now? Are you fine? Do you need any meds?” Donghun was rushing downstairs from his apartment door. He quickly hopped on into his car and meet Junhee at his location. When he got there, Junhee squatted beside his car. He shut his eyes close to stop himself from feeling overwhelmed. What the hell he just ate or drink?! He never felt this before. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As Donghun got down from his car, he hugged the younger as he was about to lose him. Well, he did. Junhee didn’t have any strength to pull back and he just standing there. Wrapping his arms around Donghun’s middle. Donghun let go of him a few moments later. “HOW CAN YOU CRASH? Are you high?! Huh? What happened? Are you sleepy? Please you can just tell me to pick you up-“ </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I love you.” Donghun widened his eyes. He-how even he still has the time to joke around. Donghun pressed his palm onto Junhee’s forehead. He has a slight fever. Donghun made a call with his friend and he dragged Junhee inside his car. Junhee waited there as Donghun still talking to his friend. He said he will take care of his car and that he’s gonna drive him home. Junhee just nodded as he felt his eyes slipping close. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>When they got into his apartment, Junhee was still sleeping. Donghun carried him in bridal style to his apartment door. Donghun searched for his key inside his bag and unlocked the door when he finally found it. He laid Junhee in his bed and before he could leave, there were tiny fingers that wrapped his wrist tightly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “St-stay..” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Donghun can hear the tiredness in his voice. He lay down beside the younger and Junhee immediately snuggles himself into the older. Donghun caresses his cheeks and starts to think about his words earlier. Did Jun really mean it? Did he really..loves him? Donghun shook his head and rested his chin on top of Junhee’s head. He heard a mumble but he couldn’t catch what was Junhee saying. “You said something?” He looked down and saw that Junhee was still closing his eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Don’t you gonna say it back?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now it was real. Donghun took Junhee’s hand into his. He kissed his back of his hand before saying, “I love you too.” His lips were curved into a small smile but Donghun can still see it. Junhee scooted closer into Donghun and rest his head in his chest.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Sweet dreams, baby.” </em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>First Kiss </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Junhee got out of work a little bit early. He was in a good mood today. He did a bit of training for privates but the best part is he did not attend any meeting. No. The best part is that he’s going on a date with Donghun. After planning it for the hundredth time, they manage to set a date to spend time together. Before he went to the hospital, Junhee stopped by a store. He thought he wanted to surprise Donghun so he bought him a little gift. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As Junhee arrived at the hospital, Donghun was already outside, but he was still in his work clothes. That’s odd, he thought. Junhee pulled up his car and got down. Donghun was running towards him, his expression went sad as he saw Junhee. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m sorry. They need me to stay here until tomorrow. Someone just got into an accident.” Donghun was out of breath. He tried to catch up with some air before proceeded to finish his sentence. “I’m so sorry Jun but the date has to be canceled.” Reading Junhee’s expression, he was not happy. Junhee looked down into his feet, what is he going to do now? Just left? He wanted to surprise Donghun for tonight. No, you can be selfish Park Junhee.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> He brought up his head and gave Donghun a little smile that was obviously fake. Donghun got closer and placed his hand behind Junhee’s neck. He closed the gap between them. Junhee was not expecting this at all. He closed his eyes and let Donghun lead them. His movement was slow but he can feel Donghun pouring out his emotions. Overwhelming him with love. Junhee parted his lips slightly and Donghun used the opportunity to slip his tongue inside. They danced together inside. Donghun sucked on his lower lip and oh, Junhee was losing himself. He wrapped his hands on Donghun’s cheeks to deepen their kiss. Their forehead connected and nose brushing against each other.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> It was not fully romantic, kissing in front of the hospital lobby, but it was perfect. So much perfect that he could ever imagine. They pulled away from each other to catch some air but Junhee missed him already. They connected their lips again and he was confident this time. Swirling his tongue on the roof of Donghun’s mouth, nibbling at his bottom lip as the older teased hin. Junhee was now the one who pulled away. A smile plastered on his face as he hides his face on Donghun’s neck. Feeling a little bit shy. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’ll call you okay?”</em>
</p><p>***</p><p>
  <strong>Six years later.. </strong>
</p><p>The air felt a lot harmer today. The wind that was brushing wasn’t necessarily made you feel cold. Donghun stepped out from the cafe, giggling as Byeongkwan decided to create some jokes about the girl earlier that was try to get his attention. They walked some more down the road. Talking about Byeongkwan’s new job and Donghun’s boss that’s apparently not fond of him. Sometimes, the shorter male wants to ask about their relationship but he never at the end because bringing Jun’s name, just makes Donghun sad. He can see how much Donghun loves him. It’s already been six years after Junhee left him. SIX. FREAKING. YEARS. He never understands the part where Donghun always said that he was proud of Junhee and how he’s glad that he’s doing his job well. Maybe Donghun was a little bit smitten but everything that comes out from his mouth was an honest opinion.</p><p>Yeah six years and still, they never see each other. Normally Jun would call him from the Commander base using a real telephone rather than a smartphone. Donghun didn’t care enough to asked him where his phone was. It would a waste of time if Junhee had to explain to him the situation and he already knows deep inside. Voice calling was so much better from a video call cause it just feels more raw and real. He might have a mental breakdown when he sees Jun’s face and let’s be honest, it would not be a pretty side.</p><p>But Junhee still sends him a package every now and then. It always filled with the photo he took and he had free time. Sometimes, Donghun only gets a letter that terrifies him even more. The letter usually contains Junhee apologizing over and over. It was pretty cute but he knew that something bad happened. They never talked about it though. Time was something very crucial to both of them.</p><p>As they stopped in the middle intersection to separate ways, Donghun looked up to his left and saw a figure that mortified his eyes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wow, that was a long time Junnie :(<br/>Anyway, thank you for reading and being patient with me. The next chapter is gonna be heavy so prepare yourself ;)</p><p>Till then, take care!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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